Boiling the thurible or the tale of the stockpot

Once upon a time, long long ago, the thurifers complained that the thurible was coated in a nasty residue. "Could not the vergers remove it?" they asked, and Father recalled that one of the vergers had told at interview of his skill in boiling thuribles. So Father asked that this be done and was surprised when the thurifers complained and complained again. "Why has this not been done?" asked Father. "I have no pot in which to cook them," replied the verger. "Buy one," said Father. "I have no money," said the verger, "You buy one." So we bought one from Argos. And the thurifers complained that the thurible was not clean and Father asked why, and the verger said "The pot isn't large enough." So the pot was taken back to Argos, as directed, but when it was taken back they said "We must come and collect it" and it was done, as directed. Then came the verger to Father and said "I have no pot in which to boil the thurible." "Right," said Father, "let us search for one," and one was found thanks to cookware-uk and an order was placed online. Then cookware-uk telephoned and said "The stockpot is not in stock" but they then searched diligently and found a bigger and better one and said we could have it at the same price, and lo, it has arrived, in an enormous box,and it is enormous, and it was taken to the verger who rejoiced greatly, and is, hopefully, boiling it up so that the thurifers will cease from complaining.

This is an ordinary everyday event in the SBG Parish Office where we seem to deal with increasingly unlikely requests to do things. Could we bring 350 firemen to your church? Would you mind police photographers practising in the church? We are looking for a crypt. (Why?) Can we film some more of "Waking the Dead"? (Yes, but don't wake any of ours.) Could celebrity chefs be filmed in the churchyard? Could we film a piece about the Bible in the Middle Ages in your cloister? Could we have a life drawing class in the Lady Chapel? (Won't it be cold?) Could you arrange my funeral (I'm not dead yet)? Could our German boy's choir come to sing? (We so enjoyed the League of Gentlemen Christmas Special.) Could we have a fashion show in church? And then we seem to be a general church enquiry office, including, this morning, "I am going to a funeral in Camden Town. Which church will it be?"

Is our willingness to say "Yes" to (almost) everything the cause of this?